“I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.”
More from Woody Allen
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“Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.”
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“I took a speed-reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.”
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“If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”
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“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
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“It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.”